Change. Adapt. Thrive

My heart freezes while my body chills up as my ear detects the word ‘change’. My mind races in speed while my spirit disappears into thin air as my skin senses ‘change’.
It feels almost like a curse to even breath the word ‘change’.

As a result, I find myself showering myself with disillusion and white lies.  My heart is simply too weak to declare to my brain that, ‘hey, life is not the same anymore!’. 
 
Becoming a mother brings frequent waves of fluctuations. Simple things like going out become tedious to complete and I feel so frustrated because I just want to get stuff done. Deep down I know that life will be different with a baby, but I’m reluctant to let it deviate too much from my previous life.

Boy, my mindset is SO wrong.

I realise that I neglected the most important universal truth: change is part of the journey. Simply put, it is the ‘pain’ that life brings. Pain makes our skin itch because our body is addicted to being too comfortable. Our body forgot how hard it has to work to go about its business.
 
The result is: we let our bodies function in a pre-subscribed way like a plane flying on autopilot.
 
Parenthood is damn hard. Really?
 
No, not really. It is hard because our mind is too occupied in the past. It is clinging to the past tightly like a little child throwing a tantrum.
‘We all get what we tolerate.’
Tony Robbins 
Dictionary.com defines ‘tolerate’ as ‘allow the existence, presence, practice, or act of without prohibition or hindrance; permit.’ So if we apply this quote in parenthood, it means that we ‘allow’ our life to be full of BS, then we will have BS in our life. These BS’s are the biggest hindrance that new parent faces in their darkest time.
 
I always thought that the scariest place on earth is not where spirits live. But actually, It is in our mind. When we fight change, we self-imprison ourselves in a pitch dark dungeon of our mind.
 
I’ve been there. It’s not fun.

Through trial and error, I work out a process to help me manage my mind in a healthy and sustainable way. This process, as I like to call, ‘Save My Sanity’, consists of six steps.

Six Steps of ‘Save My Sanity’ Process:

Photo Credit – Pixabay

 

1. Acceptance – first thing to make any change, you need to accept your situation as is. As Debbie Ford puts it self-awareness is the ability to take an honest look at your life without any attachment to it being right or wrong, good or bad.’
Photo Credit – Pixabay
2. Delegate, delegate – I can’t stress this enough. No one can excel alone. Delegation not only applies to work, but it also applies to our domestic life. After all, we only have one pair of hands and legs and 24 hours in a day. If you need any help, be it related to housework or going back to work, seek help. I am a sucker when it comes to seeking help because I find it hard to accept lower standards.
Photo Credit – Pixabay

3. Lower the bar – I always demand high standards from myself and other people around me. Aiming for high-performance over an extended period is exhausting. I wear myself almost thin towards the end of my pregnancy because I was trying to meet my expectations. Also, lower the bar allows you to become a happier person because you always meeting your goal. What a bonus!

Photo Credit – Pixabay
4. Re-evaluate your optics – we view the world through our unique filters. These filters are a combination of our upbringing, culture, environment, personality. If your filters don’t serve you well in new parenthood, why keep it? Just as you do with your clothing, it doesn’t fit you then why hanging on to it? It only takes space in your closet and makes it hard for you to find what to wear.
Photo Credit – Pixabay
5. Sharpen your decision-making – reducing your decision-making leads to a better decision. I didn’t buy this idea until I tried it for myself. (Click here to read How to Increase the Quality of Your Decision-Making in Motherhood)
Photo Credit – Pixabay
6. Mindful bodythe biggest drawback of hanging onto the past is we missed out what is happening at present. You can’t buy time, and whatever past is past. You can never go back in time to see your baby’s first smile, nor to hold her hands while she learned how to walk. These moments are precious and priceless.
 
Be patient with yourself while implementing the six steps to be a good friend with change.
 
Parenthood requires an open mind that embraces change. Change is a part of life. We can only immerse ourselves in change. We cannot resist change.
So to close, I’d like to leave you with this quote:

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

John F. Kennedy

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