Since becoming a mother for the first time, I realised how motherhood is not an easy gig to pull off like what I thought previously.
Surviving one day at a time was my motto to get me through to the next day, and makeshifts are my new bestie.
Like you, I didn’t know a lot, and I was confused, scared and felt overwhelmed with the sudden change (though expected) in life.
My cousin once told me that it is easy to call someone else mum (or dad), but it is surely hard to have someone else call you mum (or dad). It is… Bloody right! Now I am going through it, so I fully understand what he means, every word.
It didn’t help that I was a perfectionist who has so many should’s and must’s in my rule book, and I tend to get stressed quite easily.
As you can imagine, these make the ingredients for disaster in motherhood:
- I cried… because of no apparent reasons as well as for stupid reasons.
- I argued…with everyone including my husband, parents, and even myself.
- I complained … about stuff that doesn’t matter much in the scheme of things.
- I got angry … with everyone including myself.
Enough said. You get the idea.
But then, one day I realised how stupid I was. The reason why I was on struggle street is not due to someone else’s doing. I was the person who inflicted pain on myself.
I was the person who kept thinking that everyone is the problem, where in fact, it was me.
Once I made this realisation, I started to see the light at another side of the tunnel. Instead of wasting my energy drowning myself in negative thoughts, I could use it wisely on my daughter, enjoying her playfulness, innocence and naughtiness.
Also, the more I give thoughts on my situations, the more I realised how I am fortunate: I’m fortunate to have a baby to hold in the first place and surrounded by an abundance of supports (whether the support is helpful, is another question).
Motherhood has redefined me as a person because it taught valuable lessons in life. Life is black and white so we cannot label something as right or wrong.
I’m a naturally curious person so I like to read and do a lot of research so I can expand my knowledge which in turn, allows me to be the know-it-all person. To show everyone my expertise, I always volunteer my opinion, sometimes without invitations, and at the time, I would label things as being black or white.
But since becoming a mum, I learnt that in life there isn’t a right or wrong thing. Whether something is good or bad depends on the person in question: what is good for her or he may not be not-so-good for another person.
It has been a steep learning curve for me. Motherhood taught me a lifelong lesson and made me a better mother, wife, daughter, citizen, employee and most important of all, a better me. It surely has saved me from my previous self who is obsessed with things that have little value in life.<div class='sharedaddy sd-block sd-like jetpack-likes-widget-wrapper jetpack-likes-widget-unloaded' id='like-post-wrapper-128381483-577-5a1615e8e5aca' data-src='https://widgets.wp.com/likes/#blog_id=128381483&post_id=577&origin=thelaland.com&obj_id=128381483-577-5a1615e8e5aca' data-name='like-post-frame-128381483-577-5a1615e8e5aca'><h3 class="sd-title">Like this:</h3><div class='likes-widget-placeholder post-likes-widget-placeholder' style='height: 55px;'><span class='button'><span>Like</span></span> <span class="loading">Loading...</span></div><span class='sd-text-color'></span><a class='sd-link-color'></a></div>